For Those of You Just Joining Us
For Those of You Joining Us is the first chapter of Red vs. Blue: Revelation, as well as the 154th episode of the series. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif *Simmons *Donut Blue Team *Caboose *Tucker *Epsilon *Tex Other *Washington *Meta *Doc *Smith *Aliens Plot Doc arrives in Valhalla after receiving a distress signal. After arriving, he is reunited with Simmons where he discovers that Donut, who was shot last season, is now dead. Doc tells Simmons that he can't help Donut, while Simmons reveals that he already knew this and only called Doc because he was forced to call for a medical officer. As Doc turns around, he is held at gunpoint by Washington and Meta. At the desert, Grif has been burying the dead soldiers they killed while Epsilon-Church is worshiped by the Aliens. Preparing to give a speech for the fallen soldiers, Church sees a mysterious black figure off in the distance and follows, with Tucker, Sarge, and Grif not far behind while Caboose tries to entertain the restless aliens. Tucker reveals that Epsilon is having a memory surge and Epsilon reveals that he had a vision of Valhalla. Transcript Fade in to Doc in Valhalla, and radio sounds Doc: Come in Command. Come in Command, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have arrived at Freelancer Program Simulation Outpost Seventeen. Command? Come in? Come in, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have reached FPS Outpost 17. Simmons: Hey, down here, we're over here! Hey, come down here! Doc: Never mind Command, I think I see the objective. Stupid radio doesn't work anyway. What else is new. Doc runs down to Simmons and a dead Donut Doc: Holy cow, Simmons! Is that you? Simmons: Oh, hey Doc. Man, I didn't know they'd send you. Doc: Yeah, we got the radio call and I was the closest medic so they sent me. But I didn't know it'd be you guys! Small galaxy, huh? Man, we got a lotta catching up to do. So what's up, somebody hurt or what? What's going on? Simmons: Him. Doc: Him? Um, he's dead. Simmons: Yeah, he is. He was shot. Doc: Um, Simmons, I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I have increased my skill as a medic in that time, but dead is still pretty much outside my jurisdiction. Simmons: Man, I just didn't know they'd send you. Doc: '''Yeah, you said that already. Hey is everything okay with you? '''Simmons: '''It's not my fault Doc, I- I had to make the call, they made me. They needed someone with medical training. '''Doc: What're you talkin' about? Simmons: I didn't mean for you to get involved, I'm sorry, really. Doc: 'Sorry about what? ''Doc turns around and sees Wash and the Meta '''Doc: Uh oh. Washington: 'He's sorry about us. ''The Meta hits Doc and screen turns black. Cut to Grif looking at a desert field with Tucker approaching him. '''Tucker: Hey Grif, what's up? Grif: Hm? Oh. Hey Tucker. Tucker: What're you doing? Grif: Well, Sarge told me to bury all the bodies from our battle... Tucker: '''That's a lotta graves. Lotta holes to fill. Bow chicka bow wow. '''Grif: '''And now I can't find 'em, because the bodies were piled up over here, by these stone pillars, and then the wind came and blew sand all over the damn things. '''Tucker: So I guess they're already buried. Good job dude. Grif: I like the way you think. Sarge approaches both of them. Sarge: Grif, what the hell are you doing up here? I thought I told you to bury those... bodies. What? Tucker: He did, he buried the shit out of them, look. Sarge: What the- I only gave you that order five minutes ago. How'd you do it so fast? Did you help him? Tucker: '''Help him? Dude, we've been fighting for like eight years, haven't you learned anything about me yet? I'm a lover, not a digger. '''Grif: Yeheah, maybe he woulda helped me if some of the bodies were dead ladies. ...And I realise that sounded a lot creepier than what I intended. Sarge: '''Well, does someone wanna say a few words? '''Grif: '''Words? '''Sarge: Yes, these men were soldiers. Even if they were enemy soldiers, they still deserve a eulogy. Tucker: Well don't look at me, I'm a lover not a talker. Hey dude, you wanna make another sex with dead people joke? Grif: No, I think I hit my quota. Sarge: Well what about your buddy mister cult leader? Cut to Church hovering around a rock with aliens in tow. Church: So, then was one guy, said some things to another guy, and the people liked it. And that's pretty much that. Tucker: It's not his fault, those aliens just worship this ancient technology. And the people who made it. Huh huh what's a brother gonna do? Sarge: Who in Sam Hell worships technology? Grif: 'Are they from the Internet? ''Caboose comes from behind the rock following the aliens. '''Caboose: '''Yes, this is just very interesting. I understand everything that is being said. Good. '''Tucker: Caboose, what're you doing, get outta there. Caboose stands in front of Tucker and the others. Caboose: It's not fair! Hya- I worshiped Church, way before it was cool to worship him. Grif: Hey, I already told you, that's still not cool. That will never, be cool. Ever. Church floats next to Caboose. Church: '''Oh hey there guys. How's life among all the non-deities? Pretty lame, I bet! Pretty sure none of you've been worshiped all day long today.Weak! '''Sarge: '''Dya think you guys might be milkin' this just a bit? '''Tucker: Hey, do you want to tell the big group of deadly aliens that they're mistaken and he's not who they think he is? Sarge: Hm, I see your point. Hey, your circular holiness! How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of you anyway. The aliens appear right behind Church. Church: Me? I only lasered one guy. Caboose: '''Which was awesome. '''Church: I know it was, right? Caboose: '''So cool. The laser came out of your face. '''Tucker: Have you been able to figure out how you did that yet? Church: No, I think it's just because I got really mad. Hey, say something to make me angry. See if it happens again. Tucker: '''You're ugly and nobody likes you. '''Grif: '''You're annoying and your team sucks. '''Caboose: '''You're round and you can't wear pants. '''Church: '''You guys came up with all that really quickly. '''Tucker: '''Eh, it pays to be prepared. Did it work? Are you pissed? '''Church: '''No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now. Caboose is right. I can't wear pants. '''Caboose: '''Well I only said it because everyone is thinking it. '''Tucker: '''Maybe mad makes a red laser, and depressed will make a blue laser. '''Caboose: '''Well I hope we don't find out what makes a brown laser. '''Sarge: '''You idiots shut up. Hey Globey, you makin' a speech or ain't ya? '''Church: Hey sure no problem. I did a sermon just the other day that the aliens loved. Church floats up next to the Reds and Tucker. Tucker: '''Sermon? You just read them the setup guide to our Inkjet printer. '''Church: '''Yeah, and they eat that gadget stuff up. You gotta know your audience buddy. '''Grif: '''How is it possible that ever since Caboose revived you, you can't remember anything except how to be a jackass? '''Tucker: Some things are hardwired. Tucker and the Reds join Caboose and the Ailens. Church: Attention true believers. And... other people. We are here today to pay our final, and our first, respects, to the dearly departed. But first, I'd like you all to join me in a song, in honor of me. Hm. I am the best. Sarge and Grif: '''Skip it. '''Church: Fine. Okay, uh, in the beginning, there was darkness. And uh, and out from the darkness came a voice. And it said... Church sees an armored figure in the distance. Church: '''And it said... Uh... Uh-out- out from the darkness came... Out from the darkness... '''Grif: Is his playback skipping? Tucker: I don't know. Sarge: 'Maybe he needs a reboot. Good thing I wore my boots. I'll reboot him right in the keister. Hheh heh. '''Church: '''Out from the darkness came uh, someone. I'll be right back. ''Church floats away in the direction of the armored figure. 'Tucker: '''Uh oh, the natives are getting restless. Caboose, get up there and stall 'em, I'll figure out what's going on. ''Tucker chases after Church and Caboose stands in front of the Ailens. '''Caboose: Yes, and out of the darkness came someone!And that someone was me! Yes. And I said, funerals are sad, and we should have a birthday party instead, yes! Yes, let there be cake! Um, hallelujah, gesundheit. Cut to Church chasing the unknown figure. Church: 'Hey you! Hold on a second, who are you? Hey I'm talkin' to you, what are you deaf? What are you... ''The figure runs into a temple, which suddenly turns into blue base from Valhalla. '''Church: What? Tucker: '''Church! Hey Church, what're you doing out here man? '''Church: Hu-whu? Tucker approaches behind him. Tucker: '''The aliens don't like it when you leave them alone. And I don't like it when the aliens don't like stuff. '''Church: Did you see him? Tucker: Who? Church: The person, from the darkness, the- no, th- that's not right, that's not right. Well did you see? Sarge and Grif approach them. Sarge: What's he talkin' about? Tucker: I think he's having another memory flash. Sarge: A what? Tucker: Random memories that keep coming back to him. He's been getting 'em more and more lately and I don't think he has any control over 'em. He gets all emo too, it's annoying. Like having a chick around, but without all the fun parts of having a chick around. Like bonin'! Sarge: 'You should take out his memory unit and blow on it. That'll fix it. ''Caboose appears behind Tucker. '''Caboose: Is he having more memories? Tucker: Yep. Caboose: Did he remember me this time? Tucker: Nope. Church: '''I saw a canyon, and uh, a waterfall. And there was some kinda dark figure there. '''Caboose: Was the dark figure me? Tucker: Caboose, we will let you know if you come up, I promise. A waterfall, huh? That's the second time you've talked about that. Church: Yeah, but where could that be? Grif: 'Uh, that sounds like our new bases. ''Sarge walking behind Grif. '''Caboose: It does? It does! Tucker: What? Caboose, why didn't you mention that the first time? Caboose: Um, I didn't remember it? Tucker: '''You didn't remember a waterfall? Dude, that's like not remembering your first girlfriend turned out to have a dick. Right Grif? '''Grif: Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story. Gallery Wash and Meta.png Grif and Tucker.png Trivia *Although there were six surviving aliens in the final chapter of Recreation, there are only four aliens at the beginning of Revelation. *In the opening scene where Doc communicates with Command to inform them that he is in Valhalla, is very reminiscent to the first scene of Everything Old is New Again, the first episode of the second season of The Blood Gulch Chronicles. *Tucker says that the aliens worship all the ancient technology and the people who made it, a possible reference to the Forerunners of Halo, who created the Seven Halo Rings, the Shield Worlds, the Monitors and the Temple in the desert. *When the Meta is seen with Washington, his chest armor is EVA instead of his usual Scout, and his right shoulder is EVA instead of the usual EOD. *In Part One and Part Three of Grifball: Franchise Player, the side screens of the UNSN newsroom features clips of this episode. Video Category:Episodes Category:Revelation